Month: November 2014

This weekend my youngest child turns 13. That means that for two weeks I will be the father of four teenage children. Then in mid-December my oldest daughter turns 20. How did this happen? I mean, when did this happen? It seems like only yesterday I was getting my driver’s license, heading off to university and dating a beautiful girl named Rhonda. Now I have four children who are growing up way too fast. My theme song these days seems to be “Sunrise, sunset.” Life is moving so quickly. A few years ago someone shared this little saying with me, “When your children are young the days are long but the years are short.” I can now confirm that is the case. I find myself wishing I could go back and spend more time with my little children. I keep wondering if there was more I should have done and if I am doing enough today. Not everyone will be a parent. God gives each of us different gifts and opportunities. But of all the roles I play in life – son, husband, friend, pastor, citizen – none carries more meaning than ‘father.’ For better or worse I have been and am the primary influence on four amazing young people. The reality of that can be harsh some days. Nothing I do will have more lasting significance and impact than how I relate to my children. It affects not only them but future generations as well. That’s sobering. Parenting has never been for the faint hearted. It’s the toughest job out there because the stakes are simply too high. My children are growing up fast but my job is far from over. There is no retirement from parenting, it’s a lifelong calling. I am reminded that as a parent I need to model myself after my heavenly Father- the only perfect parent. Daily I need to seek him out for strength and direction. I need to learn of his patience, kindness, forgiveness and gentleness in caring for children. He is always ready to help. The years are short but with God’s grace my children are training me to become a good father. They bring me joy and happiness I didn’t know possible. Truly the Psalmist was right when he wrote: “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Ps. 127:3)

A couple in my home province of Ontario celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary this week. Clem and Millie Mintz are officially the longest married couple in Canada. Millie has Alzheimer’s disease now. Clem spends each day with her as they talk and listen to music together. Clem was asked if there was a reason that their love has lasted this long. “First thing is, you have to think of your spouse more than you think of yourself,” he said. “You have to put them first.” That’s good advice. No one goes into a marriage relationship with a plan to fail. People marry because they really do want to spend the rest of their life with that special other person. But it’s seldom smooth sailing. Marriage takes work and a determined intention to succeed. So how do we keep the magic alive? Recently I saw a headline that said, “11 things every husband should do for his wife every day.” 11 things! Every day! I don’t know; that’s a lot of things to keep track of. I looked at the headline and thought, “I can’t do that. It’s too much work.” So I was encouraged when I came across a new study that suggests there are only 2 important traits for a successful marriage. Two things! That I can do. So what are they? Kindness and generosity. Kindness and generosity. That seems so obvious, doesn’t it? This is probably the foundation of any good relationship. A healthy lasting relationship means you need to work on acknowledging your spouse, showing kindness to them and being generous with time and words. The researchers found that noticing the little things matter. A comment about the weather or an encounter at work might seem unimportant but paying attention to those interactions are critical to keeping the relationships going. We know that being rude, thoughtless and selfish will kill a relationship. Practicing kindness and generosity, actually interacting with our loved ones in this way, takes intentional work. Thankfully as believers we aren’t on our own. The Holy Spirit is at work within us to help us be Christ like in any situation. I believe that includes our marriage and other personal relationships. You are encouraged as believers to, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Col. 3:12) This becomes part of our daily attire, what we need to put on when we get up each morning. Lasting healthy relationships take work, they don’t just happen. As Clem says, “First thing is, you have to think of your spouse more than you think of yourself.” Ain’t that the truth!

As Christians we can’t count on everything going our way all the time. Rather we need to train ourselves to be content in whatever our circumstances. We need to depend on the Lord for our joy. Along the way we need to watch out for things that can steal our joy. Comparing ourselves with others. This is so common and a huge joy killer. We start out thankful for what we have until we see what someone else has. Comparing ourselves to others will always leave us with a discontented spirit because there will always be someone else with more. This means we can’t enjoy what God has provided for us.  A constantly critical spirit. Some people see the glass half full and others see it half empty. How we perceive and judge reality around us is important. But a constantly critical spirit seems to disable any ability to see the beauty and good in God’s creation. We can’t enjoy the people in our lives because we only see their faults. If everything we smell stinks then the problem may be with our nose rather than with everything else. A critical spirit does not reflect Christ-like character and will not only bring us down but those around us.  A mindset of scarcity. I don’t know if you have ever seen those shows about people who hoard but it’s rather hard to believe. They can’t let go of anything. There are stacks of old newspapers, empty yogurt containers, clothes that no longer fit and more random items than you’ll find in a second-hand shop. They can barely walk in their home due to all the clutter. The hoarders are driven by a fear of scarcity; a sense that they must hold on to everything in case they need it someday. When our lives are driven by scarcity rather than trust in God’s abundance, it’s hard to experience joy. We can never rest in the sense of God’s provision and care. That robs us of joy.    Biblical joy is not based on our circumstances. In fact, James 1:2 tells us to consider it joy when we go through difficult trials and hardships. Scripture teaches us that joy is a fruit of the spirit, a product of God being at work in our lives whatever the situation that we find ourselves in. This is hard but important to remember. Joy doesn’t depend on me having more than others, it can’t develop if I’m always critical of everyone else nor can it characterize me if I’m driven by not having enough. I need to hold the things in this life lightly and look deeper at the spiritual work that God is doing in my soul. I can’t manufacture joy but I can let God produce it in me. Joy comes through our relationship with Jesus. My time and energy needs to go to knowing him more and worrying less about my circumstances. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

Here in Switzerland there are three official languages – German, French and Italian. In the canton of Graubünden there is a fourth language, Romansh, which has official status. But those are just the official languages, the ones you find on the cereal box at breakfast. In addition to those, there are various dialects of Swiss German plus other languages like Arpitan, Franco-Provencal, Lombard, Walser and Sinte. The combinations are mind boggling to a uni-lingual kid from rural Ontario. The E.U. has 24 official and working languages but there are hundreds of languages and dialects in Europe alone. When you start looking at the languages of Asia and Africa the number grows even larger. All told there are over 6,800 living languages in use around the world today. There is a beautiful picture of heaven found in Revelation 7 where John sees a multitude of people gathered around the throne of God, people from “every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages.” They were standing in worship and saying “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne.” I said this is a beautiful picture because it is so inclusive of God’s love. He is not a tribal god, not focused on just one group of people, not partial to one language but the population of heaven is made up of people from everywhere. This month we are focusing on missions at Crossroads. We believe that God desires to see people saved from every nation. While we work daily in Switzerland, praying for neighbors and co-workers, we must also see the big picture of God at work in the world. Jesus told his followers that they would be his witnesses at home and in the outermost parts of the world. The mission of the church that began on the Day of Pentecost continues in our own era. It is estimated that 43% of the world’s people groups are unreached. An unreached people group is “a people group within which there is no indigenous community of believing Christians able to evangelize this people group.” In many cases there are no believers within those communities. It may be hard to believe but the truth is that in 2014 there are still people in this world who have never heard about Jesus Christ. There are still 1,800 languages that have no translated Scriptures. There is still work to be done in sharing the good news about Jesus. I hope that you’ll take part in our Missions focus this month. Take time to hear one of our guest speakers and learn more about how our church is helping to share the gospel. Missions is close to God’s heart, my prayer is that it will also be close to our heart.